WORST FIRST DATE STORY EVER
If you didn't see this on the
Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably
the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
Jay Leno went into the audience
to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The
winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question
as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter ...
Snowing and quite cold ... and the guy had taken her skiing in the
mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah .
It was a day trip (no
overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met
before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were
headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the
mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had
that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a
rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she
try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of
the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that
he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front
seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly
crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the
deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against
the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of
the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained
from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the
rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon
became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants,
the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's
fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor
of the moment, she answered her date's
concerns about' what is taking so
long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need
of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover
herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes,
he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally
managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously,
as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real
Both agreed it would take
something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy
metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the
first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her
free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded
to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that
should be 'pants down. 'And you thought your first date was
embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment...'This gives a whole new meaning to
being pissed off.'
Oh, and how did the first date
turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the
This to too funny not to share.